Animation Mentor - Class 5 - Week 4 - Video Pitch

OK, here is the pitch for the story I chose. Right now it's called Light as Air but I might change the title to something else... like Pumped... or Pump It Up... or something. Any ideas or suggestions to make the story better are welcome.



And for those of you that can't watch the video, here is the story pitch in text.

WORKING TITLE: Light as Air

SETTING: Guy’s garage
TIME: Daytime on a weekend
PROTAGONIST: A self-conscious young guy that has a crush on the girl next door
PARTNER: Guy’s dog, always wants to play with his favorite toy
OBJECT OF DESIRE: Girl next door
GOAL: The guy wants to show off his manliness to attract the girl
GENRE: Comedy

PITCH:
We open with a thin skinny guy is in his garage with his dog, garage door open. There are a couple of balls on the floor and other things clutter the garage. The guy is moving some boxes so he is crouched down next to the dog but he is looking out longingly, staring, across the street. We see a camera angle of his point of view and realize he sees a girl across the street that is watering her plants. He looks down at the box he is moving and he sees a weightlifting magazine.

The cover shows a strong guy at the gym curling a dumbbell with 100 lbs. written on it and an excited girl grabbing his arm muscle smiling. He fantasizes and the picture changes to himself curling and the neighbor girl grabbing his arm on the magazine.

The skinny guy looks down at his arm. His muscles look pretty sad. But then he sees a ball lying on the floor next to him and his dog. He gets an idea. He picks up the ball and looks at it... Fade out…

The next thing we see is him sitting on a bench by his dog just inside his garage. He is curling a dumbbell very similar to the one on the magazine and it says 100 lbs. We cut to the girl and we can see that she has now noticed him and is like “Whoa…” and smiles at him. He puts down the dumbbell, making sure he fakes how heavy it is, wipes his brow looking over at her.

We then cut back to the girl that is smiling and all of a sudden she gets wide eyed and starts looking away going back to her watering. We cut back to our main character who is looking dumbfounded. He thinks to himself, “What happened?” But then he looks down. The camera pulls back and we see that the dog is playing with the dumbbell and it’s obviously light. The dog then picks it up and runs away with it. The guy looks mortified and embarrassed and with a mad look on his face extends his arm to touch the wall where there is a button. He presses it and the garage door whooshes closed.

Credits roll.

The screen with the garage door shrinks and moves over to the right as the credits roll on black... and as they finish we see the dog run across the front of the garage with the fake dumbbell in his mouth.